FICTION WRITING
How to use 3rd person limited narrative voice
This narrative voice is a variation of the 3rd person narrator in which the narrator sticks very closely to a single character, rather than jumping around between multiple characters. The narrator’s knowledge is limited: it only knows one character’s thoughts and feelings, though it can describe the actions of the other characters as seen through the eyes of the main character. This is a very useful narrative voice to master, as we’ll see.
This guide is part of the Fiction writing series:
How to use 3rd person limited narrative voice
How to control time
Contents of this guide
Why 3rd person limited is so useful
Using this narrative voice allows you to go deep into a single character’s thoughts and feelings, which is great for creating rounded, believable characters. In very short stories, there isn’t usually room for multiple viewpoints; if you attempt this in your assessments, you’ll usually end up lightly sketching each of your characters without developing any single one. The 3rd person limited narrator will help you to focus on creating one very vivid character instead. It also allows for lots of nice ‘show don’t tell’ with other characters. You have to describe them vividly in order to show what they are thinking or feeling, since your narrator isn’t able to read their minds. This kind of writing is really useful for assessments too - ‘show don’t tell’ is another key writing skill. The rest of this guide will take you through how this narrative voice works.
How 3rd person limited works
Let’s look at an example. Consider a story about two men in a car. In this story, Salvatore is in the driver’s seat and Mohammed is in the back. This story could be told from either character’s point-of-view, whilst staying in the 3rd person limited. In each of the examples below, notice how the thoughts of each character are revealed only when the story is told from their point-of-view (see underlined sections):
Salvatore’s POV
(3rd person limited)
For the first time he saw Mohammed’s eyes in the rearview mirror – they were slightly red as if he’d been in tears.
“What is it, Mohammed?” Salvatore said. “Tell me. Why won’t you tell me?”
Mohammed shook his head.
Salvatore sighed. He didn’t like the way Mohammed kept things from him. “Money?” he asked. “You have a problem with money?”
There was no answer to that.
Mohammed’s POV
(3rd person limited)
Mohammed noticed Salvatore glance at him in the rearview mirror. He knew his eyes would still be red, and he felt a flush of shame.
"What is it, Mohammed?" Salvatore said. "Tell me. Why won't you tell me?”
Mohammed shook his head. He had never been comfortable talking about his feelings, even with friends.
"Money?" Salvatore asked, still probing. "You have a problem with money?"
Mohammed didn't answer. He didn't know how to explain, how to put it all into words. Just the thought of it made him feel sick.
Both of these examples work well. However, if you try to combine the two points-of-view into one story, it becomes messy, as the point-of view keeps changing. Here’s what it looks like with both points-of-view:
Both characters’ viewpoints (3rd person omniscient)
For the first time Salvatore saw Mohammed’s eyes in the rearview mirror – they were slightly red as if he’d been in tears.
Noticing Salvatore’s glance, Mohammed felt a flush of shame.
“What is it, Mohammed?” Salvatore said. “Tell me. Why won’t you tell me?”
Mohammed shook his head. He had never been comfortable talking about his feelings, even with friends.
Salvatore sighed. He didn’t like the way Mohammed kept things from him. “Money?” he asked, still probing. “You have a problem with money?”
Mohammed still didn't answer. He didn't know how to explain, how to put it all into words. Just the thought of it made him feel sick.
Not only does this make the storytelling messy, it’s also very hard to maintain across an entire story. If you try to take this approach across a longer piece of writing, even a relatively short story, you will probably end up favouring one character and leaving out the other one(s). If you were writing a longer story, like a novel, you could switch viewpoints regularly and consistently to create a vivid picture of all your characters’ inner lives. But in the kinds of short stories you’ll need to write in assessments, it’s generally better to focus on one character using a 3rd person limited narrative voice.
The remainder of this guide will go through how to create this narrative voice in more detail.
'Tell' only one character's inner life and use 'show' for the other characters
The key thing is that you only reveal the thoughts and feelings of one character; the others will need to be revealed through ‘show don’t tell’. This is the heart of this narrative voice. The narrator only has access to one character’s thoughts and feelings - it can only read one character’s mind. You will need to show the thoughts and feelings of the other characters through vivid description of their actions or facial expressions, or through their direct speech. In other words, you will need to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ the inner life of the other characters. Here is an example of this kind of ‘show don’t tell’ characterisation – from this we can infer how his grandma is feeling, though we are never told, because the story is written in 3rd person limited from the grandchild’s perspective.
His grandma tapped her hands together lightly a few more times, like she was testing them out or something, then she looked out of the window again, all the while keeping her mouth firmly shut. She finally stood, concentrating on smoothing down her dress.
Use free indirect narration
Try to include some of your character’s thoughts directly in the narration using free indirect narration. This will make your writing more sophisticated. Rhetorical questions can be a good way to achieve this:
He knew he was nothing much to look at: a timid man with some absurd, finicky ways. Why would anyone – let alone Mary Triggers – agree to marry him?
You can also do it through statements. For example:
He found he had to avoid Comity somewhat. A child’s tears are as infectious as chickenpox. But the girl would cope. She was eleven after all – almost eleven – would be eleven soon. Children are resilient, and what good was he to her anyway: this father who had brought her to the middle of nowhere and killed her mother?
Write from the protagonist's point of view only
Remember not to describe anything that your main character cannot see or hear. You can do this explicitly in the narration, as with the example below, though you don’t have to keep using verbs like ‘see’ or ‘hear’ – just make sure you remember not to describe things outside the main character’s experience:
Ralph stirred restlessly in his narrow bed. The cries, suddenly nearer, jerked him up. He could see a striped savage with a spear moving hastily out of a green tangle and coming toward the mat where he hid.
If you need to describe something the main character hasn’t experienced directly, you can describe how the main character found out about it. In the next example, David didn’t witness the events, but the narrator reports how he found out about them:
She’d been held up getting out of school, apparently. It wasn’t her fault, she told David when she arrived at the coffee shop. Mr Humperdinck had been in one of his moods, again, and he’d kept the whole English class back for ten minutes, and so she’d missed her bus.
Use 'as if' to show inferences your protagonist is making
The phrase ‘as if’ can be very useful – you can use it to indicate that your main character is inferring something. In the next example, the narrator doesn’t know whether Mohammed has been crying, as Salvatore didn’t see it, but the ‘as if’ phrase allow for this information to be included in the story because Salvatore is inferring it.
For the first time Salvatore saw Mohammed’s eyes in the rearview mirror – they were slightly red as if he’d been in tears.
Describe from your protagonist's point of view
Try to describe other characters as they are perceived by your main character – this is where ‘as if’ can come in handy. It allows you to convey the attitude of your main character through the description of another character.
His grandma took in a long, loud breath through her nose and stared out of the window, as if gathering herself. She looked like a bird of prey. A hawk that could carry off a sheep.
Summing up – key things to remember with 3rd person limited narrative voice
It is a version of 3rd person where the narrator’s understanding is limited to one character
It’s very useful for assessments as it allows you to paint a vivid picture of one character rather than faintly sketched versions of multiple characters
The key thing is to reveal the thoughts and feelings of one character only
Try to include some of their thoughts directly in the narration
If you need to include other characters thoughts or experiences, describe them as they are told to the main character
The phrase ‘as if’ can be useful in this narrative voice