ASSESSMENT AND SUPPORT

Creating a conceptualised response around a thesis

Assessment Criteria and What A Good One Looks Like

Below you will find the Skill Check assessment criteria for this skill, and underneath you will find an example of what a good one looks like, with a brief explanation of how it fits the criteria.

Assessment Criteria for Creating a conceptualised response around a thesis

minus
any of these things

No thesis or a thesis that doesn’t address the question

No points in the paragraph plan

Paragraph points are wrongly worded – not proper points that address the question

equals (just) to plus (secure)
all of these things

Clear thesis that addresses the question

2 or more correctly worded paragraph points that relate to the thesis

star
all of these things

All the + criteria

Interesting or sophisticated thesis that is clearly conceptualised

Linked paragraph points that break the thesis down into chunks to create an overall argument that builds over the course of the essay.

What a good one looks like

Example task

Create the framework for an essay in response to this question: How does Charlotte Perkins Gilman present ideas about marriage in ‘The Yellow Wallpaper’? You need to write the thesis, plus two paragraph points. The paragraph points should each explore a different aspect of the thesis.

Example response

In the ‘Yellow Wallpaper’, Perkins Gilman suggests that married couples often care deeply for each other and intend to look after each other to the best of their ability, but that the power structure in these marriages often subordinates women, giving men power over them. Perkins Gilman strongly implies that the inferiority of women can lead to suppression and the inability to express themselves well in marriages just like the narrator; the power structure in marriages, perhaps influences by the patriarchal society, is what needs to change.

Early in the story, Perkins Gilman attempts to demonstrate how loving married couples can be to each other, especially in difficult times.

However, Gilman also emphasises that the power structure of marriages — even loving ones — often makes men the most powerful, leading to the inability for women’s voices to be heard.

(Response written by Layla Zhou when she was in Year 9)

Notes on this response

  • Clearly addresses the question, with a thesis plus two correctly worded paragraph points.

  • Thesis is ideas-based, with a focus on what the novel says about marriage in general, not just about how the characters are presented.

  • The ideas in the thesis are sophisticated, showing a nuanced understanding of the text.

  • Thesis and paragraph points have a clear ‘however’ moment in them, looking at the ideas from more than one perspective.

  • Second paragraph point is linked to the first one through the phrasing (However, also, even loving ones).